She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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