I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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