I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize