I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We are all done wearing pants today
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
