I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
