what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
