please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize