just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She bit a glass in half.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
