i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
