I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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