Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
