he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
