You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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