Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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