butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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