i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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