Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
