Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize