I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
