Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
