Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
