The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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