The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ttyl tear gas
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
