do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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