Don't you send me to vm
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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