why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i believe in u and ur pee
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