I accidentally had phone sex last night
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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