i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Shame is for Republicans.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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