Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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