it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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