I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
