Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
