he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
