I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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