There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
