oh god the rape fog is back!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
