my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
