WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
