this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
