I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
