I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
