I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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