I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm having to shit out rocks
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
