Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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