Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
