You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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