I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
