How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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