mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
