covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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