Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
