Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
try to milk me bitch
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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