My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
