yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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