just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
