I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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