I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
