The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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