I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
