So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
