yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
