Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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