i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
