I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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