They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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