I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
