Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
