38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
