I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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