i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
