omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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